The Fog

I titled this entry "the Fog" because that's sorta what I feel like we've been in these last few months... who am I kidding?... this last YEAR!  The days are run by the bare necessities: sleep and food.  I feel pretty out of touch with people - and life in general.  If it weren't for Facebook, I can guarantee you NOBODY - but family - would even know we were alive.

I guess that's just the season of life we are in.  And, knowing this, I look forward to the "fog" rising.  I look forward to getting to spend more time with friends and having a comfortable home to host in (we're getting there ... and ARE there if you don't mind eating on the floor "picnic-style").  I look forward to being able to load the car up with kids in ONE trip from the house to car -- and in under 10 minutes.  I look forward to the "white noise" in the background being the wind, rain, music or crackling fire -- not so much crying and fighting.  Oh - and I look forward to sleeping through the night!  (Three cheers for SLEEP!)

Well, all that to say, there ARE things that the "fog" brings out that are NICE!  I have learned to enjoy those wee hours sitting and holding Zeke (about the only time he and I are alone).  The lower level of our home is a fantastic place Jeremy has fixed up for us - we can all fit (and then some!).  And, while there's a whole lot of crying and fighting from the kids --- there's also laughter and hilarious conversations.  I just have to slow down a bit and listen! 

...Slowing Down ... there's something about "fog" that makes you NEED to slow down... I don't know how many of you are used to fog.  There's the ocean fog, seasonal/stormy fog, and then there's the TULE (pronounced: too-lee) fog.  You may not be familiar -- but in the Central Valley of CA, they get this thick - suffocating fog.  A fog that, really, takes on a life of its own.  It is the thickest fog I have ever experienced.  You can barely see the front of your car when driving (or even walking for that matter!!!) and it feels like it's actually HOLDING you.  Everything in it goes silent and slows WAY down.  It HAS to!  If you don't, you are seriously risking your life. 

-- That's the sort of fog we've been in: Tule Fog.  The world around us has had to fade out for awhile.  We can barely see outside the boundaries of our own home (and, sadly, selfishly, outside ourselves).  Socially - we've had to slow WAY down.  Physically - we've had to stop and pull in the ranks.  Mentally - We have had to simplify (sleep deprivation will do that to you) in order to address the day-to-day issues.

There's just not much time these days for more than caring for the kids and Jeremy.  The weekly 10+ loads of laundry are often washed - possibly folded - rarely put away.  Dinner is certainly NOT gourmet, but (thanks to Kelli Pritchard and other moms with lots 'o kids) thought-out and cooked.  (Though, I do one day DREAM of getting a big freezer I can store meals I've cooked ahead of time!  What a luxury!)  Lunches are made (though, I tend to make the same thing every day for Ellie).  Ellie even gets her homework done as needed.  Diapers get changed.  And forts are still built.  It even seems that Jeremy and I meet between baby feedings and his busy work schedule.  It's crazy... all of it.

One day, the fog will lift -- the sun will shine -- and seasons will change.  But, for now, we are in a strange little capsule - surrounded by the fog.  And, know what?  The Lord is still here with us -- even in the fog!  Praise God!  I wonder what He has waiting for us on the outside of this.  But, for now, I awake and trust the Lord for today's portion of strength and patience (among other things).

...In your Neighborhood

For some random reason, I have had this old Muppets song stuck in my head. It started the other day when I was walking to my car from the grocery store. I had a bit of a walk since the parking lot was pretty full. As I was walking, I decided to see how many smiles from strangers I could get.

This is a game I sometimes play. I've noticed I will "play" it especially if I am feeling particularly disconnected from my community (for some reason). Who knows why - I'm sure we can do a whole psych study on it. But that's not what this blog is about. Back to my little game.... Typically, I will smile and say "Hi" to the people passing by -- though I bet if I were to fall or do something embarrassing, I would have as much - or more luck.

Oddly, on this day, I only got one grin and a nod. Everybody else either quickly diverted their eyes, stared blankly, or pretended I wasn't there. I'm OK with that -- it's normal ... but we are talking A LOT of people ... and all(but one) of them. Wow! What a bunch of unhappy, surly people! Seriously!

That's when this song popped in my head...
"Who are the people in my neighborhood? - In my neighborhood? - In my neigh-bor-hood?" I had to laugh at the thought of how actually SAD it was. THESE are the people in my neighborhood... the people that I meet when I'm walking down the street. The people that I meet each day.

Needless to say, I see my neighborhood "differently" now. The Lord took off my blinders and has let me see the mission field right here.... Even as I'm "walking down the street." Now I pray for my neighborhood. I pray that the joy of the Lord will fill THIS neighborhood. And that I would be able to share Jesus' love with them.

So... who are the people in YOUR neighborhood?

Happy Birthday, Jeremy!

Today is Jeremy's 34th birthday. I thought I would make a list (though I will abbreviate it for the sake of the blog) of a few of the things I LOVE about this wonderful man (in no particular order).

• He loves the Lord and that love is the measure for how he lives his life
• Jeremy is an amazing Daddy. He is always up for silly games.
• Jeremy is a kid at heart -- and (along with the kids) continues to teach me how to be, too
• He is a very discerning and wise employee/boss. -- He's divinely gifted ... that's all I know about that!
• He treats all his employees with amazing respect and humor.
• He has a heart to serve -- especially with Christ's love at the core! -- and he DOES it!
• He is courageous - and not fearful like me (at least he doesn't show it)
• He is teachable - and not proud or arrogant
• He is quick to forgive and ask for forgiveness
• Jeremy sincerely cares for those the Lord brings into his life - he is a real servant.
• Jeremy loves me - even with the craziness of pregnancies and my "girlie" meltdowns -- which, by the way, were not apparent when we were married
• Jeremy is my best friend. We can talk about any and everything with each other
• Jeremy is my social planner - I would have no (or very little) social life without him.
• He knows me better than anybody - and encourages me to not only be who I am, but to follow what God is telling me. (He know me well enough to know what those things are.)
• Jeremy is a REALLY good driver (unless he's in a hurry and driving behind somebody that doesn't know how to merge) --hahaha
• Jeremy can lighten a situation's mood effortlessly and quickly
• He is a visionary - and sees the world very differently than most people.
• I love how he throws his head back when REALLY laughing
• He helps me around the house before I even need to ask
• He is always complimentary of me - even when I am battling baby weight and haven't slept -literally- in weeks.
• I love how he makes it a point to spend individual time with each of us in this family -- even when the time doesn't exist ... he creates it.
• Oh, and did I mention that he's really good looking? :)

Happy Birthday, Jeremy! You are an amazing gift in my life. We are all so blessed to have you.

I love you!!

One Week Old - photos of Zeke

Becca came over to shoot some pictures of Zeke at one week old. They turned out great! Here they are:

http://rebeccarichphotography.blogspot.com/

Zeke's First 2 Weeks (+Grandma and Grandad Gerry)

Ezekiel "Zeke" Luigi Evarts

Birth date: Sept. 26, 2009 (12:57am)
(due date: 10/6)
Stats: 7.5 lbs, 19 1/2 inches
... brown hair; crazy, long toes and fingers; and hilarious wrinkles

So, here's the birth story. This, truly, was a labor unlike any of my others. Probably, if I were to

compare it to any of the other three, it would most closely have resembled Ellie's -- but with a MUCH more "anticlimactic" end (in other words, I wasn't begging for death, and it didn't take the doctor hours to put me back together again).


I went to the doctor for a routine visit the morning of the 25th. My expectation was to set up the induction date and details for that following Wed., the 30th. I was not feeling bad, or even like this little guy would be coming in the near future. (I hoped, but just wasn't feeling it.) It was just as well, we had only set up the crib the night before. I had just finished a major Costco stock-up trip and there was still some details to finish up on the renovation. The plan was to have a quick doctor appointment then get some major grocery shopping done in preparation for the baby - and my parents coming into town that coming Monday (9/28).


As the doctor was talking to me, he asked (as they always do) how I was feeling. I told him my back had REALLY been hurting me. Sure - I had the Braxton Hicks contractions now and again .. but those had begun to be less and less. Instead, that day, my hips and back were very uncomfortable. Now, if you read my blogs, you know I have back problems ... which are caused by my hip! So, the fact that I had pain in those areas is not uncommon, and - quite frankly - a part of my life.


As he checked me - he looked at me and told me that I would be coming back that afternoon. I was, in fact, in labor - effaced and dilated to a 4 - and actively contracting. (which was different than the appointment earlier that week... things were definitely happening.) The baby was heavily posterior ... so, evidently, the contractions were targeting my back.


I was a bit shaken. This was NOT a part of the plan. It wasn't BAD ... actually the timing worked out great. But I had things to do - and places to go that day!! Ugh - and, this being the 4th baby, I knew the LONG day that lay ahead of me.


Well, I was instructed to come back to the doctor's office that afternoon. He's across the street from the hospital, so he wanted to go over there with Jeremy and me to get us situated, etc. (He's a GREAT doctor!) In the meantime, we needed to arrange childcare for Ellie, Gideon and Josie. Jeremy hopped to work (He's one AMAZING man, I'll tell you!). He was able to set up homes for each kid (it's a lot easier to find temporary homes for one - or two kids than all three!). We dropped the kids off and headed over to the hospital.


By this time, I knew I was in labor. But, to be honest with you -- the contractions were not like those I had with Gideon or Josie. Now, THOSE contractions hit hard, fast -- and left me doubled over, gasping for breath. THESE left my back so weak and sore, it was hard to hold my body upright ... but I was able to breathe fine... I was just REALLY uncomfortable. I am SO thankful for my doctor. Because of the unusual labor with Zeke, I guarantee you, by the time I thought I was "ready" to go into the hospital ... it would have been too late. I definitely would not have gotten any pain meds... but most likely would have had the kids with me and been in a car or at home when Zeke came. -- and that's one thing I DID NOT want. With all the chaos in my life at this point, call me crazy or whatever, but knowing that I'm in a (somewhat) controlled environment actually gave me the peace and security I needed to get through labor and feel like I could recover quickly.


Once at the hospital, we were hooked up to machines. My contractions were really weird. Before, with previous labors, the "contraction graph machine thing" charted the contractions with defined spikes (almost like hand-drawn mountains as they built up and relaxed) followed by a time to catch my breath. These looked like they were charting brain waves or something. They were just constant spikes. No wonder I had not felt distinct, painful contractions, they were consistent and constant spasms/contractions.

I still had some time to go before I was ready to deliver (at this point, though I didn't know it, I had 6 hours). The labor and delivery ward was PACKED - and there were no beds at the time. So, Jeremy and I walked around the hospital for a little over an hour until we were able to get a bed. It wasn't so bad -- I got dinner (It's amazing I could even EAT!), watched fish in the huge tank, and read the paper... wild, huh?!?


I finally got checked into the delivery room around 7. Things were definitely picking up, and I decided to get the epidural then so I could rest a bit (my back was KILLING me). Man, it took the anesthesiologist about an hour -- and *7* spinal inserts to get it right. Apparently I have VERY strong back ligaments ... only made worse by my back injury (and hip issues) and the back labor I had been enduring. But, once the drugs kicked in, all those uncomfortable back pricks were worth it!!!!


I agreed to some pitocin about 11pm in hopes that it would cause the contractions to take on a more "normal" form and speed things up. It worked ... and at 12:56 am, the doctor checked me and yelled to Jeremy to come quick. One push and Zeke was here!


Afterward, I felt GREAT! Zeke is my smallest newborn yet -- which made recovery VERY easy (comparatively). I chose to stay in the hospital the full 2 days (with Josie, I was itching to get home to everybody and stayed less than a day) --- and I cherished the quiet moments I got to spend with him. Not to mention how nice it was to have food brought to me, and get to nap and watch TV (and use the internet) all day long!


So, here we are now! Zeke is fitting in just fine here. The kids are all adjusting. Ellie is still the top-dog, big sister. Gideon notices when it's convenient - otherwise is in his own world. And Josie gets upset when she sees her old baby things being used for Zeke. But at the same time, loves on baby "Zz-zzz-eee" by rubbing his head, going to the side of his crib when he's crying, and many other things. She's adjusting well - but it's not easy!

So, we are no longer the Evarts 5!!.... We are now the Evarts 6!!! Yippee!!!

Last Days of Summer 2009

Ellie Begins 1st Grade!

Ellie began classes at her new school Sept. 9th. -- First Grade --- wow, how time flies! She is LOVING it ... making lots of new friends, enjoying her teacher, and thriving on the idea of being bigger than the kindergartners. :)

After I dropped Ellie off at school. The other kids got to go get donuts with me -- we had a fun morning all-around!